E-mails from an Asshole 9-25

Ride to Bonnaroo

Original ad:
i need a ride from philly to bonnaroo in manchester, TN! i will throw up some cash for gas. i dont have that much stuff either. i am a down ass chick and will be fun to ride with!

From Mike Anderson to ************@***********.org
Hey! I’m taking my truck down to Bonnaroo and should have an extra seat. I’m planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon. Does this work for you?

From Katie ******* to Me
yes that is fine! thank you! where do you live? i can meet you somewhere if it is easier for you.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
I live in West Philadelphia, born and raised. I can meet you anywhere you want. So far it is me, you, my friend Josh and his friends Steve and Rob. It should be a fun ride!

From Katie ******* to Me
great! how big is your truck? i may have a lot of stuff.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
My truck is pretty big. It is a Mazda Miata and it can hold around 3 people. You will probably have to sit on Steve’s lap. He’s fat though, so it will be somewhat comfortable to sit on. Are you attractive? My only concern is that Steve may get turned on when you are sitting on his lap. If this is an issue, you can sit on Josh’s lap because he is gay. The only problem with that is that if you are fat, you may crush him because he is a small dude. But if you are fat you can probably just sit on Steve’s lap without him getting aroused.

From Katie ******* to Me
what?! how the hell are you going to fit 5 people in a miata? that isnt a truck! i dont want to sit on anyones lap.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
Oh, I get it. You are one of those Ford fanboys that likes to hate on Miatas. That’s okay, I’m not too adamant about Mazdas. If you don’t want to sit on Steve or Josh’s lap, you can sit on mine, since I have a girlfriend and won’t try anything. You will have to drive since my legs will be stuck, though. That’s probably better, anyway, since my license is revoked until 2012, and I have a few warrants. Do you know how to drive stick? If you don’t, I can teach you. You can pick it up in like five minutes.

From Katie ******* to Me
no im not driving are you fucking kidding me? this sounds like a horrible ride. ill find another ride thanks but no thanks. i still dont get how you are going to cram 4 dudes into a miata.

From Mike Anderson to Katie ********
Do you have a car? You can just follow us down there in your car if you want more room. I take the long way, however, since if I get pulled over in Kentucky or Virginia I will probably go to jail. We are going around, through Missouri. Missouri is really nice though!

From Katie ******* to Me
IF I HAD A CAR I WOULDNT NEED A FUCKING RIDE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS IM DONE TALKING TO YOU

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