E-Mails From An Asshole 5-28

Lenny’s Acid Trip

Original ad:

Do not Use Lenny the Mechanic:
He has an ad on here for car repairs and I asked him to fix my blown head gasket. He showed up to my house, broke a bunch of parts and left. He has been avoiding me ever since. DO NOT USE THIS GUY.
Lenny, if you are reading this, you owe me an explanation.

From Me to ***************@***********.org:
Hey,

My apologies for bailing on your car. I know I have been hard to contact; I lost my phone and had to get a new e-mail address. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make it up to you.

Lenny

From **********@gmail.com to Me:
You could start by explaining yourself…

From Me to **********@gmail.com:
Well, I was pretty baked when I showed up, and I had just eaten a bag of shrooms and taken three hits of acid. I thought I would be able to fix your car before the shrooms and acid kicked in, but I was wrong. While I was disconnecting the sensors, I started tripping pretty hard. At one point it looked like the intake manifold was laughing at me. I freaked out and bashed it with a socket wrench, and then ran back to my car and got the hell out of there. I’m not sure what happened after that. The next thing I remember is waking up naked in a church confessional booth two days later. When I got back to my house, the State Police were there and told me they found my car abandoned in a car wash about 50 miles away. Needless to say, it has been a crazy weekend for me. That is why I was unable to fix your car.

From **********@gmail.com to Me:
Uh…not sure what to take from all that. You deemed it a good idea to take drugs before working on my car because…why?

From Me to **********@gmail.com:
Honestly I forgot I had to work on your car. I remembered after I took the shrooms and acid. Once I get my car back from the police, I should be able to come over and finish working on your car. Oh by the way, sorry about the dump I took on your lawn. I was too embarrassed to go inside and ask to use the bathroom because it would have been obvious that I was tripping.

From **********@gmail.com to Me:
Unbelievable. I don’t want you to do any more work on my car. I do want you to pay for the damage you did to my car. If you don’t, I will take you to small claims court.

From Me to **********@gmail.com:
Whoa man, why are you being such a dick? Not cool. If anything, you should be paying me. I seriously fucked up my hand when I hit your intake manifold with the wrench. It feels like I fractured it. I don’t have any health insurance, and seeing as I got injured under your employment, I think you are obligated to pay for my medical bills.

From **********@gmail.com to Me:
Not a chance in hell. I think all those drugs you took fried your brain – you’re fucked in the head if you think any of this is acceptable. If you don’t pay the damages, we are going to have a problem.

From Me to **********@gmail.com:
I have another eighth of shrooms I can give you…will that cover it?

From Me to **********@gmail.com:
I’ll take that as a yes?

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