E-Mails From An Asshole 6-14

Angry Fish Tank Guy

Original ad:
55 gallon tank great condition.no scratches. comes with filter. $125. 484-***-****. CALL ME ONLY – NO EMAILS. 484-***-****

From Me to Felix *********:
Hey,

That fish tank is beautiful. I must have it! Is it still for sale?

Mike

From Felix ********* to Me:
CALL THE NUMBER

From Me to Felix *********:
What number?

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E-Mails From An Asshole 1-27

Lost

Original ad:
36″ RCA tube TV for sale. good condition. pickup only. very heavy. first with $50 gets it. no phone- email only.

From Me to ************@*********.org:

Hey there,

I want your TV. I have $50 cash and can pick it up anytime. What is your number? I’ll call you for directions.

Mike

From Steve ***** to Me:

hi mike. i live at 54 ********* dr. can you get it today? i dont have a phone so just show up and knock on my door. ill be home all day sound good?

From Me to Steve *****:

Sounds good. I’ll be over in a few hours.

Thanks,

Mike
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E-Mails From An Asshole 11-18

Special Skaters

Original ad:
Attention all ice skaters and hockey players! Volunteers needed to train children participating in the Special Olympics hockey team. Anyone with adequate skating skill can be used to help teach our athletes to skate. Please call 410-***-**** or respond to the email address above.
Judy


From Me to ************@**********.org

Judy,

I am writing in response to your ad regarding helping children learn to skate.

I was a legend in minor league hockey until my career was cut short by a career ending injury. I still love the game of hockey though and would love to pass on my skills to your wonderful children. I look forward to hearing from you.

Mike
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