E-Mails From An Asshole 8-6

The Car Crusher

Original ad:
i need my 89 dodge shadow towed to a car crusher asap. there are a few crushers in the area so get at me with a price and contact info

From Me to *********@*************.org:

Hello,

Do you still need your car crushed?

Mike

From Jeff ******* to Me:

yes

From Me to Jeff *******:

Well Jeff, how would you like to have your car crushed by a REAL LIVE MONSTER TRUCK?!

That’s right, for only $20 you can witness the ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION AND CARNAGE of your 1989 Dodge Shadow being CRUSHED INTO OBLIVION!!!

Our CHEVY KILLVERADO is bringin’ the pain on top of 66 inches of DOOM-BRINGING TIRES and will leave your car COMPLETELY ANNIHILATED.

Please let me know when you are ready to BRING ON THE DESTRUCTION!

Mike

From Jeff ******* to Me:

are you serious

From Me to Jeff *******:

YOU BET YOUR ASS I’M SERIOUS!

The only question is, are you serious about your car being SERIOUSLY SMASHED INTO SMITHEREENS?!

Mike

From Jeff ******* to Me:

is it being crushed at a demolition derby or something?

From Me to Jeff *******:

No! You will have the honor of witnessing it being obliterated, LIVE AND IN PERSON, right in your front yard! No unnecessary travel to a stadium – stadiums are for PUSSIES!

Mike

From Jeff ******* to Me:

why the hell would i want to do that? then id have a pile of shit in my lawn that would be even harder to get rid of

From Me to Jeff *******:

No need to worry about cleanup! The Killverado will PULVERIZE YOUR CAR INTO A PILE OF DUST!

From Jeff ******* to Me:

no it wont. are you an idiot?

From Me to Jeff *******:

Do not underestimate the DESTRUCTIVE POWER of the KILLVERADO!

Tell you what, if you decide to do it in the next ten minutes, your kids can witness the devastation for JUST FIVE DOLLARS.

YOU’D HAVE TO BE A PUSSY TO TURN THIS OFFER DOWN!

Mike

From Jeff ******* to Me:

no id have to be a retard to let some idiot come run over my car with his stupid truck! what the hell wrong with you? dont email me again ya jackass!

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