E-Mails From An Asshole 12-10

Rude Phone Salesman

Original ad:
White iPhone 3G network 16 gig for sale – great condition comes with usb/home charger and screen protection case. $350 *******@gmail.com

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 6 9:38 PM):

Hey,

Is your iPhone still available?

Mike

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:24 AM):

yes.

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:25 AM):

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what time it is?

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:29 AM):

uh…its like 3:30. whats the problem?

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:34 AM):

Yeah, 3:30 in the morning, prick! Both my wife and I have to get up for work at 6 and you just woke us up. My wife suffers from sleep anxiety and probably won’t be able to fall back asleep. Couldn’t this have waited until the morning?

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:37 AM):

how is that my fault? its not like i called you. i just got home from the bar and saw your email so i responded. its email…who cares what time it is? how could that wake you up?

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:42 AM):

Oh, so in your drunken stupor you decided it would be a good idea to wake up my entire family at 3:30 in the morning? I have my computer hooked up to a 7.1 surround sound system, and Outlook plays a sound every time I receive an e-mail. It damn near rattled the house when you sent it. You woke up our three month old baby and now he is crying.

I have a meeting with some big-time clients today, and now I am going to be falling asleep in the meeting. Thanks a lot, douchebag.

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:44 AM):

hey look faggot its not my fucking fault you leave your computer on loud as fuck in the middle of the night. you must be real fuckin dumb. you have a baby and a wife with sleep problems and you think that is a good idea? fuck you guy

From Me to *******@gmail.com (Dec 7 3:48 AM):

I don’t like your attitude, pal. First you wake up my entire family, and now you curse me out? This is unacceptable. By the way, my wife was so distraught from you waking her up that she accidentally microwaved our baby’s milk too long. The baby was scalded with burning hot milk, and now we have to go to the hospital. I hope you are happy with yourself. Is this how you normally sell iPhones on the internet?

From *******@gmail.com to Me (Dec 7 3:55 AM):

yes, i always sell phones by waking up idiot families and burning babies with milk…NO

boy are you fucking retarded! fyi this is the first and last time i will ever try selling something online, now i know why peope dont use this shit- because only RETARDS use it!

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  • Tim

    Who's the asshole here? The self-righteous prick who thinks that the entire world revolves around his schedule, that's who.

    Fuck you.

  • Jeff

    I really laughed at your other pranks, like the thing with the rocks or the videos, but this is cruel and unfunny.

    No thumbs up on Facebook for you.