You ever have someone you can’t stand and in the back of your mind you’re thinking ‘Go eat a bag of dicks!’, well now you can make that happen.
Dicks By Mail is taking a page from the ‘Ship your enemies glitter’ playbook by letting you anonymously send a bag of dicks to anyone. For $15.99, Dicks By Mail will send a 5 oz. bag of gummy penis-shaped candy to your foe with a note attached exclaiming “eat a bag of dicks.”
Their website makes some valid points on why this is a good idea:
In only a few minutes you can send a literal Bag of Dicks to that special asshole in your life.
You know the one.
The annoying guy at the office.
Your Ex who decided to see other people before telling you.
The Teacher that doesn’t care about your dead grandma.
The person that murdered your grandma.
Not into gummy dicks? Then check out Ship A Dick where you can send giant cardboard cutouts to anyone. Some nice, some mean, all dicks.
This all cool and everything but just goes to show that my idea to start a Loot Crate alternative and send wangs to people each month could have been great, too bad the investment firm didn’t agree. YOU SEE THIS BRIAN? I hope you’re happy, the ‘Dick of The Month Club’ would have worked but oh no, you had to be a naysayer and shoot it down. I hope you choke on the bag of dicks I’m sending you…