Suzuki Bandit: A motorcycle as cheap and dirty as the bowling alley bathroom where I was conceived. This bike has a 1,250cc 4cyl engine, larger than some 4-passenger cars in the UK.

2008 Scion Xb: The official car of using Fruity Loops to remix Daft Punk’s “Harder Better Faster” and using the offending product in Music Theory class because the Band Director has his hands full with TOB paperwork and doesn’t care what you do in his class anyway.

There is no way to enjoy an Audi S4 within the bounds of the law. This car is stupid fast. That would be a non-issue if the car looked fast. It doesn’t. An S4 looks like a WASP, in a tie, eating at Starbucks on his lunch break. You see this car and immediately forget about it. SO… you have to RRRRRGGHHH all the time to show the world that you exist. The WASP goes home, switches his ladder-dick-piercings from stainless to “Mexican-Fiesta.” His Casio point-and-shoot is already on its tripod. All he has to do is long into Tumblr.