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Balloon Boy Raps

October 20th, 2009

As if you needed another reason to despise the family of “Balloon Boy”, this music video from the fame-seekers shows off how mom and dad taught their three sons what it means to be men. Namely, that you can’t be “pussified.” Yes, this family has their own music video from their Wife Swap days. And yes, it even has them saying “faggot” at around 2:52 — as they reenact a gay bashing murder scene. (On a side note, his Mom needs guitar lessons. WTF is with that solo?)

Hopefully the media gets tired of these repugnant attention whores quickly and moves on to something more worthwhile.



And another e-mail from an asshole

August 7th, 2009

These are always pretty funny so I think we can make it our Friday tradition.

Original ad:
looking for a ride from wilmington to manhattan next wednesday, any time during the day is good. I will pay for all of your gas as compensation.

From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org

Hello,

I am driving to NYC for a business meeting around 10 AM on Wednesday and would be able to give you a ride. Let me know if you still need one.

Mike

From Chris ******* to Me

mike, that sounds great. where do you want to meet to pick me up? i can meet you anywhere in wilmington. also, how much do you want for gas?

chris
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Want to sleep at work?

August 4th, 2009

There’s an app for that.
inapatworkIf ever an iPhone app was created for the George Costanzas of the world, it’s this one: iNap@Work simulates office sounds so you can snooze while the people around you think you’re working.

I mean, seriously, wouldn’t a 20-minute siesta be fantastic right about now? Just fire up iNap@Work, then adjust its five sound-effect sliders until they accurately reproduce the sounds that would normally come from your cubicle.

The app simulates mouse clicking, keyboard tapping, paper crumpling, stapler stapling, pencil sharpening, and tissue, um, using.

Needless to say, it’s a pretty hilarious piece of code. I’m sure it’s the rare office where you could actually put it to use (without getting caught and fired, anyway), but it’s definitely good for a laugh.

More e-mails from an asshole

July 24th, 2009

Original ad:
selling 1997 toyota camry. 146k miles. engine and transmission in good shape. was in minor fender bender, damage shown in pictures

From Mike Anderson to ***********@***********.org

Hello,

Let me just introduce myself. My name is Mike, and two weeks ago my dog was hit and killed by a car in Manayunk. The driver did not stop. He was hit by a white ’97 Toyota Camry. With the side of the bumper bashed in like in your pictures. I thought I would never find the killer, but then I saw the murderers car for sale in Manayunk on **********! YOURS. What, are you trying to get rid of the evidence? You killed my dog of 8 years, and didn’t even stop. I had to tell my kids that they would never see him again. Now they just look dead inside, like their soul was taken from them. I can’t blame them.

We can’t bring Skip back to life, but I want you to come here and apologize to my kids. And buy them a new dog. It is the least you could do.

E-mail me back and we’ll set up a time.

– Mike

From derek ******* to Me

what? i didnt hit your fucking dog. no way im buying you a new dog
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80s McFashions

July 19th, 2009

McDonald’s came up with a lot of amazing stuff in the 80s, from McNugget Noir to Jason Alexander’s McDLT enthusiasm, but this new find really takes the cake..er… burger.

McFashion. Apparently, in the 1988, the McDonald’s employee catalogue was filled with “The Smile Makers”, which was, from what we can tell, “employees” wearing McDonald’s brand clothing with such joy and excitement, you’d think they were high as kites.
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