E-mails from an Asshole 9-4

Original ad:
childcare needed
looking for a responsible and dedicated person to babysit my two children during the week. you will be needed monday through friday, from 7 AM to 4:30 PM. email me at ***********@comcast.net and we can talk about pay. DO NOT EMAIL ME UNLESS YOU HAVE REFERENCES

From Me to **********@comcast.net:

Hi there! Are you still looking for someone to fill your babysitter position?

Mike

From **********@comcast.net to Me:

yes i am. please send your info and any past expereince you have.

From Me to **********@comcast.net:

Actually, I am not the one applying for the position. I run a rehabilitation program for good people who are trying to enter society again, and have a few candidates who I think would be able to watch your kids. They will work for a much cheaper rate than a professional babysitter, but will still deliver professional service.

Mike
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E-mails from an Asshole 8-28

Insulting Parrot

Original ad:
PARROT WANTED
I am looking for a parrot for my two children. I used to have a parrot and loved her and would love to see my kids have one. Really any kind of parrot will do. I have a vet that can check it out – please email me if you have a parrot you don’t want!

Thanks!

From Me to **************@*********.org

Hi there!

I have an African Grey parrot that my wife and I do not want anymore. It would be great for your kids! Let me know if you want him.

Mike
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