E-mails from an Asshole 8-14

The Plumber That Can’t

Original ad:
I NEED CASH! I am a handyman and can do all kinds of work. I do plumbing, dry wall, electric, general construction, and any other job you need done! Email or call

From Dan Gibson to *************@********.org

Your handyman skills are needed. I have a problem I was hoping you would be able to help me with. Last night, when I was throwing up, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet and flushed it. It is a small phone, so I am pretty sure it made its way to my septic tank in the backyard. I need to get this phone back. It has an irreplaceable picture of my friend Tim hooking up with a fat chick, and I need this picture so I can taunt him with it for the rest of his life.

I will hire you to sift through my septic tank to find the phone. It is a 1250 gallon septic tank, and has not been drained in a while. On the plus side, I will let you keep anything you find that is not my phone. There is probably a ton of spare change that was accidentally flushed, and maybe some other treasures. The pay for this job could potentially be huge.

Please let me know when you can help. I am free all week. Just contact me via e-mail, because my phone obviously is in a world of shit (no pun intended)


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15 Photoshop Mistakes

We decided to examine the subject of poor Photoshopping that makes it’s way to print with the latest cases along with some of the best classic Photoshop disasters we’ve found around the web.

Maybe a shark was swimming around and ate her other leg.

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Twitter Girls 8-10

We’ve been playing around with different feeds and found something interesting. We were able to pull the feeds from Twitter’s recent photo uploads. When we first started watching the feed coming in it was pretty boring stuff, pics of people’s pets, their kids, what food they were eating at the time. Actually, A LOT of pics of food, why does that seem important enough to take a pic of? Anyway, we watched it for a bit then noticed something, TITS! That’s right, the feed picks up everything so as girls were uploading pics to thier accounts we were able to see them. Since slutty chicks is generally interesting stuff we figured we would start a weekly thread about it. Most of the stuff we found was NSFW so we’ll have to censor some of them and clean it up. Here is the first batch of pics we can show.

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